A few paragraphs I sent to a friend.
I’m having another epiphanous moment. About life, and the way I view relationships, sex, and drugs. It sort of ties in with nihilism. There’s really no reason for me to abstain from marijuana, booze, or sex, at all. There are the obvious addiction risks and pregnancy and whatnot, but just in general. Before I continue, be clear that I’m not talking about hedonism or extreme pleasure-seeking lifestyle. Just the total separation of these things right now.
My reasons for not indulging in substances would be that they harm your brain. but I mean, really. Any bump on the head will probably do more; I wouldn’t be drinking all of the time. On that note, microwaves, cell phones, radios, all wireless technology produce radiation that not only kill, but mutate cells, including ones in your brain. There’s no reason to be more scared of booze than the constant radiation. They’re both harmless, unless exposed to high amounts for a long time.
Sex is sex. Just, rubbing, basically. A lot of girls are on the pill. If not, condoms are great. I personally feel no emotional attachment to my virginity (“I need to wait for the right person”). It’s nothing.
Relationships. Right now, I’ve pegged myself as being interested in submissive, calm, conservative-behaving women. Why? No reason. We could go all Freud on this, because that’s how my family generally is, but I’d love to enchant myself by thinking it’s coincidence. I don’t need to high standards that I have right now. I do like for relationships to have depth and to mean something, But they don’t really have to. As long as both people are seeking the same thing, and you have fun and trust, it’s fine. I don’t need to be serious all the time. If I didn’t, I’d have a lot more options, not that those really matter either. Whatever.
Love is so. fucking. abstract. The whole concept. All the couples around me are talking about being in ‘true love’ and having something special, and I know it’s not, and everyone else does too. Yet we humour them. Why? We shouldn’t let them delude their selves. On the other side of that coin, do we know what true love is? Can we define it? Have we experienced it? No. That’s terrible of us to judge them, then, when they do have something. A very diluted something, yet who are we to say they don’t ‘really love each other’? Is there anything more pretentious than telling people they aren’t in love?
There’s no way to really conclude all of this, it’s just something I’ve come to realize. Will there be a personality change on my part? Not sure. Probably.
Hey, John. What’s wrong with you man? Take it easy then relax.
I’m just recovered from breaking up with my girlfriend for real.
Love is something kakes time to be understood.
what is lifestyle now ? what is epiphanous?
To Yao,
I don’t really feel that anything is truly wrong. Most of what I write is inspired by thinking sessions, not actual events that have happened.
I agree. Like most things, it’s not something you can fully grasp in a short time. My opinion (at the moment) is that with all the different definitions or indicators people hold about what ‘true love’ is, it’s getting impossible to find my own definition for it. For someone like me, who loves to be able to understand the world around him, it’s really irritating. This is amplified by the over abundance of love in our culture. All art forms, advertising, anything you can think of features love in a big way.
By no means am I saying it doesn’t exist, or all couples are superficial in their love. This probably wasn’t clear, but this was, at first, an e-mail to a friend, in which the reference to ‘couples around us’ would’ve been a lot more personal, dealing with friends in our lives.
Thank you very much for commenting though. Hope I cleared some things up.
To Paul,
I’m not sure. I wrote that about two days ago, and considering it’s summer and I live in the country, I don’t really have huge access to booze, weed and women. I just have to wait for time to pass, and the opportunities will present themselves. After which, I’ll update the blog. :P
It isn’t really a word, at least not according to firefox’s spell check. It stems from the word ‘epiphany’, though.
Hey, John.
I’ll keep tracking ur posts then.
He-he.
Good to know, glad to have someone watching. =]