Late in the a.m. last night I came across this blog.
Check it out if you have some time. It’s insightful, funny, smart, and a whole assortment of other good things. You’re bound to find something you like.
I’m having another epiphanous moment. About life, and the way I view relationships, sex, and drugs. It sort of ties in with nihilism. There’s really no reason for me to abstain from marijuana, booze, or sex, at all. There are the obvious addiction risks and pregnancy and whatnot, but just in general. Before I continue, be clear that I’m not talking about hedonism or extreme pleasure-seeking lifestyle. Just the total separation of these things right now.
My reasons for not indulging in substances would be that they harm your brain. but I mean, really. Any bump on the head will probably do more; I wouldn’t be drinking all of the time. On that note, microwaves, cell phones, radios, all wireless technology produce radiation that not only kill, but mutate cells, including ones in your brain. There’s no reason to be more scared of booze than the constant radiation. They’re both harmless, unless exposed to high amounts for a long time.
Sex is sex. Just, rubbing, basically. A lot of girls are on the pill. If not, condoms are great. I personally feel no emotional attachment to my virginity (“I need to wait for the right person”). It’s nothing.
Relationships. Right now, I’ve pegged myself as being interested in submissive, calm, conservative-behaving women. Why? No reason. We could go all Freud on this, because that’s how my family generally is, but I’d love to enchant myself by thinking it’s coincidence. I don’t need to high standards that I have right now. I do like for relationships to have depth and to mean something, But they don’t really have to. As long as both people are seeking the same thing, and you have fun and trust, it’s fine. I don’t need to be serious all the time. If I didn’t, I’d have a lot more options, not that those really matter either. Whatever.
Love is so. fucking. abstract. The whole concept. All the couples around me are talking about being in ‘true love’ and having something special, and I know it’s not, and everyone else does too. Yet we humour them. Why? We shouldn’t let them delude their selves. On the other side of that coin, do we know what true love is? Can we define it? Have we experienced it? No. That’s terrible of us to judge them, then, when they do have something. A very diluted something, yet who are we to say they don’t ‘really love each other’? Is there anything more pretentious than telling people they aren’t in love?
There’s no way to really conclude all of this, it’s just something I’ve come to realize. Will there be a personality change on my part? Not sure. Probably.
Just for the purpose of this post, assume Facebook will still be a modern and widely used social networking site many years from now.
What would this mean for my generation of teens? In the past, people look through old photo albums with their children or friends, and reminisce or tell stories about their memories. Will this practice cease to be, or will it be replaced by Facebook albums? Will people even develop photos anymore? We’ll have almost no need to describe old friends and lovers, because their profiles will simply be there for our children to look at, and see.
This raises another, much, much more interesting question. There is now the possibility of a virtual ‘immortality’. There’s always been a conundrum with humanity. After about 300 years, everything we’ve done and everyone we knew will have passed, leaving us with no impact on this world, save for the select few who make history. Facebook could potentially change that. With a comprehensive enough profile, the thoughts and memories of every person could be cataloged indefinitely. Their very essence as a person could be recorded through text and videos.
I find this concept extremely fascinating. The Internet is a beauteous thing to be sure, but possibilities like this are truly revolutionary. There’s still the issue of privacy settings and what Facebook does with the profiles of deceased persons, but there’s surely potential. I can’t wait to see what the future holds.
Like any other person my age, I’m having some inner-conflict. And, like any other person my age, I feel no one quite grasps my sense of the world, my thoughts. There’s no reason for me to hold myself above others, but that’s the tendency. No matter the subject, I feel that I percieve any issue or though on some sort of unique plane that no one else can see, but they can get a glimpse of it. As you can imagine, hardly a productive way to go about solving problems. The solution to that is to consult numerous people, as they, too, have their own planes, their own glimpses.
This arrogant individualism on my part is strange; it goes against my beliefs. Specifically, the belief that consciousness and individualism is an illusion, something the human race evolved with in order to survive. The brain sends electric messages to create neuro-pathways that we can process. Just a bunch of chemicals mixing together. Human thinking is no different from any other chemical reaction, but we perceive it that way.
We’re told that the human mind is unrivaled by any computer, that it is the splendor of the modern world. This is only so because we say it is. We’re full of ourselves. Who is to say a thunderstorm is inferior to our logic? The process of atoms interacting in such a way to produce wind, water, lightning and immense sound seems infinitely more complex than smashing flint against rock to start a fire.
With my beliefs explained, I feel humbled again. I’m comfortable here, drenched in nihilism. It really puts everything into perspective.
These complex thoughts, and sinking into nihilism, is this a strength or a weakness? Surely I’m intelligent enough to grasp facts and manipulate them to find this view, and humble enough to accept that I, like everyone else, am a germ. Yet settling into this nothing-matters-I’m-insignificant mood can be seen as a flaw. It definitely puts otherwise serious issues into perspective and makes them more manageable, but hardly solves them. “The universe itself doesn’t care, so why should I?”. It’s unhealthy in a way.
And to think, all of these concepts stemming out of girl troubles. Life is funny.
This is my first blog.
It’s really a way for me to let loose my thoughts, to organize myself so I don’t lose anything. That said, I do think that my thoughts and opinions have merit, and if someone happens to stumble across this blog, they’ll be able to take something away from it. At least I hope so.
I hope to be updating constantly, but I’ll have to see if this is a project worth continuing.
I’ve thought of doing this before, making a blog. I felt like it would influence my writing a bit though, away from being a journal. It would become about writing for the readers. I don’t want my words filtered that way though; I don’t want my work geared to please.
Is it arrogant to write a blog? Is writing in general arrogant? When publishing anything, online or not, arrogance is somewhat implied. It shows that the author feels their message is worthy enough that other people would be genuinely interested in that author’s opinion as to take time to read their thoughts. I worry I’m not at that point yet. Who knows? I’m sure someone will find this blog interesting - once I actually post something of authentic insight.
